Here are some damaging beliefs that we carry:
1. Past should have been different: less traumatic.
2. If someone suffered in our family we also have to suffer, it is not good to be happy.
3. If we co-suffer we help.
4. If we make a crucial mistake we should remain guilty.
5. If someone dies in the family this is something that should not happen and this breaks our life.
6. We have to be the same as our family to be safe.
7. If some serious trauma happens once this means all life is dangerous.
8. If someone has a difficult destiny we can carry it for them.
Beliefs vary from culture to culture, from family to family.
And here is an exercise:
During the day we make lots of choices. Pay attention, why are you making every choice. To your big surprise you might find out that a lot of choices are made because you are scared, angry, guilty, and so on. And this would be really good to see that you make choices because you are happy, feel love, and so on. And fear, guilt, anger they might come out of your past or your family past. This is something to work on for sure (Family Constellations by Bert Hellinger is to work on any of it). Awareness makes a huge difference.
Family Constellations, Vaughan